July 30, 2015

This week has been a tough one in regards to my anxiety. I am not really sure why I am having such an issue but I am.  I just feel like I am wound so tight that one little thing is going to unravel me and I am just going to collapse on the floor in an emotional puddle.  My mind has just been racing from one anxious thought to another, worrying about everything and coming up with all the worst case scenarios for everything else.  I am irritable and grouchy.  I am finding it hard to sit at my desk at work and when I go home I am finding it hard to relax and just be.  I have been trying to use all the techniques that I learned from the counselor that I saw recently and it is hit or miss whether they work this week. It is exhausting to feel this way. I hate feeling like this but sometimes feel that I don’t have any control over it no matter how hard I try and control it.  And then I realized that may be part of my problem……trying to control it,  when I should just let go.

 

I am a huge fan of the series, Criminal Minds and there is an episode where Penelope and Rossi are walking out together after a challenging case for them and Penelope asks Rossi if he has ever wanted to just unplug from the world for a while.  Rossi asks her for her tablet, cell phone, other cell phone and decides for her that she is coming to his house to just relax and unplug for the evening. After watching me struggle all week with the anxiety my Hubby last night decided that enough was enough.  At 8:30 pm, he took my cell phone away and sent me to enjoy a bubble bath and read my new book, taking the control away from me and leaving me no choice but to try and relax. He also stated that from now on I am not to answer my cell phone after 8:30 pm at night.  He said that he will tell the children that if they need us or are having an emergency they can send a text message and one of us will respond. His reasoning for this is sometimes when I answer the phone, especially at night,  I get stuck on it and then I miss out on “me”  time and he knows that I need that time to recharge. I will admit that for a split second I wanted to argue the point but then He gave me “the look” and I complied.  Sometimes I just need to be able to give up the control and just let go.

July 24, 2015

For most people today is just an ordinary Friday but if you live in the state of Utah today is a holiday.  Some refer to it as Pioneer Day but officially it is called the Days of ’47.  It is a holiday commemorating the arrival of the first pioneers to the Salt Lake Valley in July of 1847.  There is a children’s parade that took place a few nights ago, a rodeo that has been going on for the last week, a horse parade last night, a marathon, a HUGE parade that starts first thing this morning and fireworks tonight. It is a state holiday so most businesses are closed today.  The Days of ’47 parade is the oldest parade in the United States and the first one was held in July of 1849.

 

I remember as a child, dressing up and  walking in the children’s parade and as a mom with three boys, walking with them in the parade.  As a teenager and being active in the marching band in high school we marched in the main parade. It is a long parade and most years it was HOT but we survived and I have some great memories to look back on.  There were a couple of times as a teenager I remember camping out overnight on the parade route so that you could have the best spot to watch the parade. We didn’t sleep much on those nights but oh the fun we had.  I know that there are still families that do that.  Honestly, I prefer now to just stay home and watch the parade.  This year I am working so I will miss the parade. I love the Days of  ’47 and it reminds me of the pioneer heritage that I have and the all the sacrifices that those pioneers made.  I am not sure if I would have made it as a pioneer.

 

It is really nice to have an extra holiday in July but it also signals the beginning of the end of summer for me. Technically, we have the whole month of August to enjoy the summer but it seems like things start to wind down and gear up for the fall.  When I had children at home, we started to think about back to school and everything that includes.  The pool was long forgotten in August and plans were usually being  made to spend one more trip out camping on Labor Day and then of course the holidays and all that entails starts to creep in. I am trying really hard to just enjoy August and put everything else on the back burner this year.  I hope that you are enjoying your summer.

 

July 1, 2015

Has anyone else noticed that there has been a lot of negativity in the world lately? It seems like every time I turn on the news at night or log onto social media there is an abundance of intolerance and unkindness going on. I was on Facebook the other night and there was stuff about the ongoing debate about the confederate flag, upholding gay marriage and the bashing of an author.  I couldn’t’ help but think to myself….why is everyone being so unkind?  What good is this really doing for anyone?  What happen to the saying, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  I remember as a child, growing up with my 4 siblings,  my mom would sing us this silly song every time she caught one of us being unkind to each other.  “I want to be kind to everyone for that is right you see.  So I say to myself, remember this….Kindness begins with me.”

 

What an entirely different world we would live in if we took to heart this simple advice!!  Kindness begins with me.

 

We don’t have to agree with everything that someone else likes or dislikes but  why can’t we be tolerant of that person and allow them to have their beliefs and opinions and live their life the way they chose to live it.  We don’t all like to read the same books or watch the same movies but in the grand scheme of things, does that really matter? Why can’t we just agree that we all have differing opinions, views and beliefs and just be kind to each other?  It doesn’t take a lot of time to be kind, a simple smile when you pass someone in the hall at school or work.  A heart felt thank you.  A hug, even a cyber hug, when you know someone is struggling.

 

I know that I am not perfect and sometimes I judge when I shouldn’t but I am really going to try and be more kind in my own life and hopefully my example will rub off on others.